written to educate myself.

Table of contents

1. On my personal purpose

2. On addiction and my addictions: weed & being busy

3. On Zen Buddhism, my religion

4. On my project: Dembrane

5. Message for my future self

1. On my personal purpose

What is my personal purpose? Why do I do anything at all beyond physical survival? Let’s try answer this in a framework inspired by how Jo Weston is answering this question for Dembrane.

Purpose: To bring more Light and Love to Earth.

Vision: A world where humanity is sustainably enlightened, living in a thriving homeostasis with all Life on Earth.

Mission: Live a present, loving, cooperative, and wise life – with enjoyment 🙂

Bram: Cooperate well 🐓

2. On addiction and my addictions: weed & being busy

I am addicted to weed and being busy.

It’s no severe addiction, but it is worth mentioning to myself. Both external remedies I use as a solution for the same internal fear: being not optimally productive. I need to learn to let go of that fear without external remedies. But I am practicing well, I’ll get there 🙂

While practicing, I have two sources of information that substantially help me understand what happens that make me show addictive behaviour:

1. Psychology: In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts – Gabor Maté
2. Religion: Step 2 of the Noble Eightfold Path, as explained by Joseph Goldstein on Waking Up.

*My use of ‘religion’ is worth giving context. According to thesaurus.com “religion” noun is defined as: “belief in divinity; system of beliefs“. For me, there is little divinity apart from the magic of the existence of this universe and its life. For me, ‘religion’ is a system of beliefs that helps me live the good life in western 21st century society. If someone is aware of a more fitting word then ‘religion’: I am interested to learn!

Highlight from In The Realm Of Hungry Ghosts

“I just try to fill an emptiness. Emptiness in my life. Boredom – a lack of direction.”
– Richard, 57, addicted to cocaine.

“The meaning of all addictions could be described as attempts to gain control over our life experiences through external remedies… Unfortunately, there are two sides to all external means by which we try to improve our life experiences: they are always good and bad. No external means improves our condition without simultaneously worsening that condition.”
– Thomas Hora, Beyond the Dream: Awakening to Reality.

Insights I got from Joseph’s Goldstein’s insight into the Noble Eightfold Path

Every human has a strong tendency to get addicted to sense-pleasures.

This makes total sense: sense-pleasures are one of the highlights of the experience of being alive. Obviously they are addictive. Our whole biology is build around this fact.

3. On Zen Buddhism, my religion

I believe I am becoming more religious. For years, I have been exploring my own Framework for living a human Life in 21st century Western society. But I am learning the nuances and complexity of creating a system of beliefs. It is an incredible difficult task, and I can see why there only come new once in to existence every century or so at maximum.

There is a lot wrong with organised religion, in my ill-informed opinion. I have talked to many religious people on the streets (most Christian) and I rarely heard a deeper understanding beyond repeating words in which they’d put blind belief. Being able to fully grasp and live by a complex system of beliefs is incredibly hard. It’s not something we can expect to happen if you simply accept a saviour and go to church every so often.

But religion is amazingly powerful. Life is messy. We’ve created a society where no longer we can blindly follow our biological instincts and live a happy Life. Society’s invention to give direction for new-born Life through a set of beliefs and practices might be one of the most powerful pieces of technology we’ve created in history.

I really like what I’m learning about Zen Buddhism. It makes sense. It feels like a complete set of beliefs that can work well for me. I’ll keep using my personal framework for daily practical work, but will spend most of my additional spiritual time on studying the Noble Eightfold Path instead of trying to reinvent the wheel. (bonus points if you got the pun.)

4. On my project: Dembrane

Dembrane is doing well. It is hard work, but I can see something grow. 2024 was a very senior student project. 2025 was the year of learning to be a business. 2026 can be the year of becoming a great business. We have the right people and the momentum. Work-life is also going well. I think I learned a bunch about stress and how to deal with it in a healthy way.

The amount of people are growing! It’s becoming a real party 🙂

Excited to really push the gas for 5 more weeks. And then it’s already holiday. I want to really focus these last 5 weeks. Let’s cancel anything non-hell yeah outside work.

5. Message for my future self

Hope you are doing well 🙂

The Bram of 16 November 2025 defined his purpose today. You’ve read it above.

Also, I’m trying to be less distracted. Think it’s going decent. On a bad day I have 3h of phone screen time. On a great day I have 1 hour. I think I am more in the moment then ever. But this is hard to quantify. Here I need to trust the process.